The Final Summary: Please Wave At Trains, and Other Travel Advice

I like that people wave at trains–not just kids do it, but lots of grown-ups too.  Right after we departed Los Angeles on our first day, a few miles out from Union Station, a construction guy climbing on a cement freeway pylon turned from his work and waved to us.  It made us feel good, and seemingly him too.  It was a sweet thing to do for people who were just passing by.

Waving at trains is a gesture of camaraderie and support, a momentary ticker-tape parade saying “Hooray for Adventure!”  There’s something very companionable about it: a welcome to the community (no matter how quickly the visitor may rumble through) and an expression of good wishes for their journey.  How often do we take a sec to say, “Hello, and best of luck!” to a perfect stranger?  Waving at trains is a way to high-five as we roll along our merry way to the future, whatever it may be.

I encourage you to wave at trains, to take a moment to signal your approval to the lonely traveler.  And who knows? That traveler may stop and become your neighbor–a wave may become a handshake, or something more.

If nothing else, waving at a train is a benediction, a gift; glimpse the lives passing by and raise your hand in peace and solidarity with them.  Life is short and full of trouble, so why not offer as many people as you can this brief blessing as they go by?  It costs nothing, and to quote Langston Hughes (painted on our room wall at McMenamin’s) “dig and be dug in return.”  So bless, and be blessed, as you go on your way.

Mummers Museum, Philadelphia PA

DOS AND DONTS FOR TRAIN TREKKING ACROSS THE USA

I’ve made a list of things to keep in mind should you want to take a train trip of your own.  Feel free to drop a line if you have questions….

DO assess what kind of weather, events, and level of population density you like before you block out time and make your plans.  We thoroughly enjoyed empty towns in the cold weather of April, even if we missed a few cool attractions that weren’t open for high season yet.  We dug the rough weather and came prepared for it, but if you’re a “Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale” type, the cold, rain, and snow we deliberately encountered might be your nightmare.

If you’re going to want to be in the heat and the thick of offerings like Mardi Gras, Riverwalk, and The Dells, find out when big events are happening and plan around them.  Bear in mind that the North stays cold longer than the South, so their events and attractions don’t get rolling until June.  Obviously you won’t be the only one who enjoys summer fun, so book well in advance (and take sunscreen.)

DON’T try to book your Amtrak schedule online!!!   The interface is a malinformative, frustrating mess.  Call the Amtrak phone reps (and call back, if you get someone inexperienced) to make your reservations and purchases by phone.  It’s the least agonizing way but still won’t be easy.  You have to book EACH PERSON’S TRAVEL SEPARATELY! even if it’s the same itinerary.  Moronic, yes, but what it is.  Be patient and eventually you’ll get ‘er done.

DO stay at inns, B&Bs, and mom ‘n’ pop joints instead of big hotels if you want the full-on American immersion experience.  TripAdvisor.com is useful in figuring out the locations and amenities, though be prepared to spend substantial time researching and emailing.

If you prefer to be far from the madding crowd rather than part of it, you might want to make reservations at the larger, more impersonal hotels (or just have your travel agent do it for you if you don’t have time to investigate other options.)

DON’T expect a luxury experience with Amtrak.  It’s not an elegant way to travel–in fact, in some ways the opposite, kinda downmarket, and the bathrooms get kind of gross on the second day of a segment.  Trains aren’t a good choice if you’re a germphobe.

However, if immersion is what you’re looking for, you’ll get it–both in the landscape of our country and the people that live there.  You’ll see the poor side of town from your train window, and you will have to socialize with other train passengers during meals unless you invest in a roomette and order your meals “to go” from the dining car (which you can do, and your attendant can even deliver them on request.)

If you dream of the luxurious days of wood-paneled railroad cars with buckets of champagne and caviar inside, skip Amtrak entirely and contact one of the private railcar associations: http://www.aaprco.com/ or http://www.rpca.com/, or search for one of the many historical train enthusiast societies.  You may be able to hitch a ride on an antique traincar or even charter one for yourself; otherwise, you’ll have to content yourself with a copy of your favorite train porn, be it “Murder on the Orient Express” or “On The Twentieth Century,” while squirreled away in a corner on the Amtrak train.

DO bring “train shoes,” i.e. slip-ons with rubber soles.  Amtrak requires that you wear rubber-bottomed shoes while walking around the train, but it’s likely during a long segment you’ll want to get out of your street shoes into something more comfortable.  Train shoes let you walk to the restroom or cafe car without having to lace up the boots again; I bought some slippers at a CVS in New Orleans that worked just fine as an alternative to my high-tops.

DO bring healthy snacks and think about alternate meals if you’re not into eating the way America eats: that is, high-fat, high-salt, high-sugar cafeteria-style food.  That’s what Amtrak will give you three times a day–it’s included in your fare if have a roomette or suite–and on long segments it’s hard not to eat the stuff just out of boredom.  Plan ahead if you have special dietary needs, because Amtrak can’t accommodate much deviation from the pre-processed microwaved meals it serves.

DON’T pack your schedule.  Give yourself ample time to arrive and settle in at each destination, and take a few hours to wander around in your surroundings.  Some of the best stuff we saw was off the beaten path and FREE (like the Forevertron.)  In most towns we enjoyed hanging out just having coffee and people-watching–well, if it was good coffee, like in New Orleans or Portland–much more than we enjoyed some of the much-vaunted “must-see” tourist rip-off sites.

DO invest in good wireless technology if you need bandwidth, or leave the gadgets at home if you can get by with intermittent stops at internet cafes at your destination.   Our cellular USB modem thingy by BroadbandToGo worked great on the train when there was cell network available outside, but there was NO connection in most of Texas, Alabama, Mississippi, North Dakota, Montana, or while traversing mountain ranges or expansive nature preserves.  Amtrak doesn’t offer wireless, sorry–and the way their budget is, they won’t be anytime soon.  Amtrak roomettes do have an AC plug though, so at least you can charge your phone or laptop while you’re traveling.

BTW, general travel note: we found out a lot of the smaller hotels/inns that offer free wireless as part of their amenities also block Port 25 so you can’t retrieve email (and they often will have no clue what you’re talking about if you mention it.)  Fortunately I brought my tech support with me and he was able to tunnel into my email account when the need got urgent, but don’t expect to be so lucky if you need email access while you’re out of town.

DO bring all necessary drugs, even over-the-counter ones, since you may not be able to go purchase them when you need them (Amtrak’s cafe car has aspirin and Pepto Bismol for sale, but that’s about it.)  Be sure to stock up on girl-meds and allergy reducers, and also your chosen caffeine.  You get spoiled here in L.A. when it comes to joe (and super-spoiled in New Orleans and Portland if you like wicked dark and gritty high-octane coffee like I do.)  Be forewarned you’ll get paltry, headache-inducing coffee on the train as well as most train stations, small towns, and all of Texas.  Pack your own brewsticks if good java is important to your well-being; sleeper cars have hot water available (though don’t expect ceramic cups anywhere onboard except the Coast Starlight line.)

And smokers beware: Amtrak trains are smokefree, and you can only smoke on SOME station stops, normally only once or twice a day.  Nonsmokers beware too: if you step off the train to get a breath of fresh air during a stop, you’ll get a dose of second-hand smoke instead.  You’ll have to breathe when you get to your destination, so be sure you plan accordingly if you like clean, pure O2.

DO tip your porter–excuse me, railcar attendant–and dining car servers. Though don’t ask us how much….this came to us as a bit of a surprise and we probably way overtipped because that’s how we roll.  At least I hope we did.  We didn’t get negative feedback about it, anyway.

The attendants vary in how attentive they are; they will help you stow your luggage when you get onboard and normally convert your roomette into nighttime bunks, and will get you meals or water if you ask.  Some travelers tip when they first meet the attendant (I guess to assure prompt service) and some when they deboard.  Your call.

So enjoy your journey along with your vacation, and here’s the entire “Motto” by Langston Hughes, thanks again to the artists at McMenamin’s:

“I play it cool
And dig all jive
That’s the reason
I stay alive.

My motto,
As I live and learn,
is:
Dig And Be Dug In Return.”


Great advice for living both on and off the rails, don’t you think?

"Motto" @ McMenamin's

Safe travels, y’all….and don’t forget to wave.

Elizabeth Oakes

May 9th 2010, Los Angeles, CA

PS Love and props to Samuel, who planned this trip and without whom it would have been a meaningless morass of miles.  xoxxo <3

Slowly We Turned….Heading West via Niagara Falls, Wisconsin, and the Empire Builder

After our sleepless night in Philly we boarded an early train and went up the gorgeous Hudson Valley to Niagara Falls, which I was shocked to find lacked the quaint honeymoon cottages and culture I had been led to expect by recent puff pieces in the national press.  In fact, we were doubly shocked to see how much of the town was derelict–empty storefronts and huge malls, empty.

In contrast, the Canadian side looked like Las Vegas and was thrumming with tourist activity.

Made Of The Mist? The Canadian Side Beckons

We had a good time bumming around in spite of this–the Falls and the park were still beautiful though overcast–we did finally see a rainbow over Niagara in our last hour before leaving.

Touching Water , North Border-View from the deck of The Maid of The Mist (four of the five Great Lakes contribute water to Niagara Falls)

Great Lakes Garden, Niagara State Park

Illuminated Falls At Night

I spoke with a few locals and wrote my first Examiner piece on the town; I ended up discovering a lot more about the region with just a few conversations than I thought I would.  Niagara is experiencing some complex political and economic issues right now, and its survival depends on either a radically improved economy right away or some smart, rapid action on behalf of the state and local authorities, neither of which seems forthcoming.  It’s sad–there’s a lot to enjoy there, potential wasted mostly by political in-fighting.

Sad Empty "Snow Park," Niagara Falls

Full Moon Over The Niagara Rapids, Near The Red Coach Inn

We stayed at the Red Coach Inn, a last-renovated-in-the-1950’s red-velvet funky theme joint–a little dusty, but the staff was friendly and they had an old school menu in the restaurant, e.g. steaks served with a pat of butter on top.  You could hear the Niagara rapids from our room, which was really nice, sound like steady rain.

Modeling "Maid Of The Mist" Blue Ponchos

We did the Maid of the Mist and walked the Falls Park; on our last day, we visited with the Niagara area jeweler that made my wedding band (I’m working on an Examiner piece about him and his work) and he was hilarious and really fun to talk to, but we had to dash to make our next train.

Buffalo Wings At Duff's--Buffalo, NY

We had to change trains and kill about ten hours in Buffalo, which was FREAKIN’ COLD!!  We walked around and a) ate authentic Buffalo wings at purportedly-top-rated-wing-joint Duff’s, which were spicy, greasy, and made us slightly nauseated, and b) found the coolest grocery store on the planet, Wegman’s–better stocked with fresh-prepped, interesting food than Bristol Farms or Whole Paycheck, with FREE WIRELESS IN THEIR CAFE!!!  We ate lunch like, three times during the five hours we were there, stocked up on snacks for the train, internetted, and then went back to the Amtrak station to set off for Milwaukee and points west.

I mean, they had FRESH FLOWERS in the RESTROOM! WEGMAN'S ROCKS!!!

We rented a car and drove from Milwaukee through, YES–WAUKESHA, WISCONSIN!!! HOME OF SPIDERCOW!!! on our way to Baraboo, WI.  We made good time so we drove over to the Dells, which we had been told were “really beautiful.”  They were “really” piled high with Vegas-style waterparks and amusement complexes and moose-and-bear themed restaurants, though we did take a nice hike to the water through the woods only to encounter teens talking on their cell phones and some guy with his boat radio cranked up.  Ah, the sweet sounds of nature.

The Dells

The Dells

At Baraboo we stayed at another funky inn run by a funny retired couple–birdhouses that were little models of the inn and crazy cut-out cows everywhere–but we were skunked by the non-open Circus World, to which we had expressly traveled to Baraboo to see.   Our best guess was that we had obtained their schedule from an old website–there was a newly renovated one when we checked again, and this one said they weren’t going to open until May 22nd.  But we were already there.  Bara-BOOOOOO.

You Know You're In Wisconsin When You See These Next To The Cheese

We went instead and picnicked here at Devil’s Lake–not very circusy but we made do.  There were turtles.

Our Picnic Bench, Devil's Lake, WI

And the Forevertron made the entire Wisconsin junket worth it.  See Samuel’s post and our “Thumbs Up” for more.

The Forevertron

The Forevertron's Love Beam

Other Defenders Of The Forevertron

More in Part II–stayed tuned for House On The Rock!

Sleepless in Philadelphia; Niagara Falling

Love Park, Philadelphia

Friday morning we took the train overnight from Savannah to Philly, where we beheld a sunny morning.  We checked our luggage and our reservation at Club Quarters Philadelphia, and set out for the Mütter Museum (see “Thumbs Up”) and the Mummers Museum later that afternoon.  Both are worth seeing, but don’t confuse the two or you will be permanently messed in the head.

Like the Mütter Museum, the Mummers Museum is not for everybody.  I was drawn to it because I am fascinated by community-created rituals, and Philadelphia’s New Year’s Day Mummer Parade is a bizarre and wonderful example of how folk traditions are initiated, institutionalized, and passed down to new participants.

Philly is home to several Mummers “clubs” (which resemble New Orleans Mardi Gras krewes) that march and dance in a garish New Year’s Day parade, replete with “comics” (clowns), “string bands,” “wenches,” and “fancy brigades.”  The clubs can spend $100-$200k outfitting their membership in fantastical costumes (properly called “suits”) and they compete in themed choreographic presentations that are rehearsed for months on a volunteer basis.

This is a five-minute documentary featuring a champion mummer club, the South Philly Vikings.  (Note: as of 2009, there are no more cash prizes…these folks are mummers for love and bragging rights, and spend much of the year fundraising to make their show possible.  Shades of SpiderCow!!)

The Mummers Museum documents the evolution of the parade from its roots in ancient mummer traditions to its modern regulated state. The museum itself is a little dusty and many of the exhibits are aging and nonfunctional, but we found a few bits of history to enlighten us–the archive photos of early parades are fantastic.  It’s clear the parade was once a subversive romp by a mostly immigrant population–Samuel likened it to the “Burning Man” of its time–but now it is a big money establishment-run affair, and the Mummers Museum helps one understand this evolution from high-spirited improvisational mischief to manic civic competition.

The volunteers who run the museum–members of mummers clubs themselves–will enthusiastically talk your ear off about the Mummer phenomenon.   One is left wondering if there’s a kind of wonderful antic madness running through Philly, or if there just aren’t enough other activities to keep people gainfully occupied.  It’s easy to forgive them for oversharing their excitement though–lots of sparkles for New Year’s Day, a massive and serious contest, and an even more massive and serious party afterwards!!

Mummers Museum, main hall

The Mummers Museum is outside the main tourist area of town where I guess rent is cheap for non-profits–we had a nerve-wracking walk through a rough section of Philly to get back to our hotel.  That tired us out so we opted to have dinner close by at a cloyingly hip place on Chestnut called Continental Midtown, a “global tapas” diner (which translates as small plates, but you can’t say “small” in these recessionary days, even around foodie types who should know better.)

We had our Regionally Required Dish–Philly Cheese Steak–in a won ton wrapper, and it tasted pretty good, if lacking in Philly street cred.

Philly Cheese Steak Wonton, Continental Midtown Restaurant

Sadly, Philly street CRUD was all we had that night at our hotel, Club Quarters Philadelphia.

About one-thirty in the morning, the nightclub downstairs spawned what Samuel dubbed a “horn artist,” i.e. some schmuck who leaned into his/her car horn for about two hours.  That, the shrieking and yelling from the clubgoers, and the consequent sirens two hours later kept us stone awake until about four a.m.  So lovely, as we had to get up at 5:30 a.m. to make our train to New York.

We were beyond zombied and miserable when we went downstairs that morning–mind you, we were on the NINTH FLOOR and the ruckus sounded like it was just outside the window–and Club Quarters gave no quarter when I complained upon check-out.  “Oh yeah, that’s the club downstairs” was all they said, politely, and our only recourse was to write a ruthlessly truthful review on TripAdvisor about our night there.  They didn’t even have their lobby coffee ready.  We were traumatized but too exhausted to actually freak out on it.

It’s really too bad–Club Quarters could have been a nice experience if they had made some attempt to deal with the situation, or with us.  As it is, if it’s a weekend–run away, run away!!

Six a.m. Breakfast of Champions, Philly departure lounge

At six a.m. we slogged onto the train to Penn Station, NYC, where we transferred to the Amtrak Empire State up the Hudson River Valley to Niagara Falls.  It was a packed train, which surprised us, but the scenery was beautiful.

Hudson Valley, from train window

We arrived in Niagara in the late afternoon and were driven to our inn by an Indian taxi driver who drove like Batman having a panic attack (as it ended up, all our taxi drivers were Indian; apparently in Niagara there are a substantial number of immigrants and tourists from India, who often come via Canada.)

From the first moments of our arrival, it was clear Niagara Falls was not all we had been led to believe, though it has kept a few of its maidenly virtues intact.  Sadly, the “Honeymoon Capital of the World” has lost much of its business to the meretricious development across the river on The Canadian Side.  It seems to be sad days for the U.S. portion of Niagara, but maybe that’s about to change???….

….More on that Hard Rock Border War and the Lack of a Honeymoon “There” There when next I post….stay tuned!

Made Of The Mist? The Canadian Side Beckons

Thumbs Up: Alligator Soul Restaurant, Savannah GA

Everyone raves about Mrs. Wilkes, but I thought the better Southern meal experience–though definitely Nouvelle Southern–could be had at Alligator Soul, just a few blocks away from Mrs. Wilkes. It’s located at 114 Barnard Street near the Historic District, in a nicely renovated cellar location–a repurposed granary with windows shaped like eyes, an architectural design that was once believed to create mojo to keep pests and thieves away.

The Walls Have Eyes

Fried Green Tomatoes, Nouvelle Southern Style

The amuse-bouches of truffled ground beef in a beignet crust and the ancho-honey corn muffins were fantastic, as were the house salad with sundried tomatos, stone-fruit, and goat cheese and the fried green tomatoes appetizer with chipotle mayo and sweet pepper relish.

Samuel, Soft Shell Crabs

Beignet Chicken

For mains, Samuel had the soft-shell crab and I had a beignet-crusted Southern chicken breast with a sweet/spicy dried peach bourbon reduction;  they were bursting with wonderful combinations and the portions are quite large for a gourmet restaurant (of course, this is The South.)

The menu changes frequently depending on what’s fresh in the marketplace, and the combinations are inspirational–one of the few meals I’ve had in the past couple years where I’ve stopped mid-mouthful to savor in amazement at the complexity of the flavors.  They offer chef’s tasting menus and wine flights for foodies.  Full bar, good wine list, and a great experience.

The couple next to us wasn’t happy however–their mashed potatoes were cold and there was some problem with their coffee–but they were a little older and I think expecting something conventional.

Anyway–highly recommend it.  Reservations are necessary; it’s definitely the hot joint in Savannah these days.  Oh, and the chocolate pecan pie with butter toffee ice cream was divine, y’all.

Give me li'l sugar.

Off The Rails: Driving The South

If you’ve read Samuel’s rant at the beginning of this blog about the impossibility of the Amtrak booking system, you know that we couldn’t make a complete circuit of the U.S. by train because Amtrak no longer operates the Southern Line east of New Orleans (though it appears on all their schedule maps.)

So we rented a car and lit out, trying to drive from New Orleans to Jacksonville FL in one day–about  550 miles–planning to find a random hotel, and then driving another 150 miles to Savannah the next morning.

Vroom!  We barreled through four states–LA, MS, AR, and most of FL in about twelve hours, but took a detour down to the Florida portion of the Gulf Shore near Pensacola Beach (paying the kingly sum of $1 to take the toll bridge there) stopping to touch the water in the Gulf of Mexico and take some photos of the beautiful white sand beaches.  It’s mid-April and spring breaks are over so the resort and beach preserve were fairly empty–very beautiful and almost desolate now, but I’ll wager a crowded nightmare in summer.  We were glad we took the time to meander down to see it though, and you might want to do the same some day.

Welcome To Mississippi!

Welcome To Alabama!

Welcome To Florida!

Welcome To The Gulf Of Mexico!

White sand beach, Florida's Gulf Island National Seashore

By the time we got done with our Gulf Shore visit it was late afternoon and I wanted to hammer through to Jacksonville before it got dark, but we decided to cut back to Interstate 10 through Niceville–which BTW, wasn’t–and once we were back on I-10 and night had fallen Samuel exclaimed, “There’s a place here on the Florida map called the Lech Worth Love Mounds” and I said, “THERE IS NOT!!” and he bet me there was, right near “Lake MicoSucky.”

He was having me on, of course.  When challenged, he waffled by claiming it was tiny print/hard to read/not too sure but we were in a trapped-in-the-car-too-long punchy mood so in the middle of the night we drove about 40 miles off highway to check it out.  We couldn’t go into the site, but here’s the sign.

Harumph.

He didn’t mention it was hyphenated, “Letch” with a t, and it’s Lake Miccosukee, but it only goes to show that some people will stretch anything for a punchline.

It was quite late after this diversion so we holed up in a nearby Holiday Inn Express in Madison County, Florida (which worked out nicely due to the Waffle House across the parking lot and a coin-op laundry in the hotel) and then drove through Jacksonville to the Atlantic the following morning.

The "spot" where Interstate 10 ends, Eastern end, Jacksonville FL


Touching the Atlantic (Second Base)

We touched the Atlantic–we figured we might as well touch all four water bases of the U.S. as we go along, just to say we did–then drove up to Savannah.  We slept pretty well–something that wouldn’t happen again for a while–then spent the day on a tourist tram looking at Savannah’s main attractions.  If you like art, architecture, and design, there’s lots to see–the Savannah College of Design, or “SCAD,” has bought and renovated many historical buildings and it’s spiffy to see.  We also went to the famed Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room for lunch, lining up with the other tourists an hour beforehand to obtain a seat at their family-style table.

Mrs. Wilkes Dining Room: Table and Tourists

I know everyone raves about it and the food was tasty (and cheap for what you get at $16) but I’m not sure it’s the apotheosis of Southern cooking everyone says it is.  It was educational, a comprehensive layout of all those dishes you’ve read about, and it was an easy and fairly painless way to try them all in one sitting.  Might just be some anticipointment, or maybe just another little discovery tainted by success.  I would also have appreciated knowing up front that they are a Christian organization, and they force a grace in Jesus’ name on you before the meal–that soured things for me a bit, but with the high saturation level of evangelical Christian culture we observed throughout the South it shouldn’t have surprised me. I was tempted to say the Shehechiyanu in response but couldn’t remember all the words, so I just ate my collard greens in Jesus name like everyone else (though Samuel says he silently invoked the FSM as his spiritual antidote.)

You're Going To Hell, Y'all

Speaking of swearing to God, we also visited the Juliette Gordon Low birthplace; “Daisy” Low was the founder of the Girl Scouts, who vow at every meeting “to serve God and [their] country” as well as to be helpful, kind, and sell cookies for the cause.  The birthplace is regarded as Mecca for Scouts to this day–registered Girl Sprouts can buy a special Birthplace Badge if  they actually go there, and a Friendship Badge if they couldn’t make it.  Still has many of the original furnishings from the mid- to late 1800s, well-preserved.  Fun to see if you like that period in history, and her story confirms once again that It’s Good To Be Rich.

Southern Comfort--Daisy Low House Verandah

There are dozens of other old homes that are open for tours, and if you’re into antiques and antebellum design Savannah will be a treasure trove.  You can also visit the Mercer House, location of the murder depicted in “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil.”  Read the book first before you go–we hadn’t, and they won’t talk about it on the tour.

Returned the rental car and caught the train to Philly.  Strange to be in a warm clime and then one train ride later be in the cold/dark/wet.  More on “Sleepless in Philadelphia” soon…..

Thumbs Up: Angelo Brocato Ice Cream and Gelato

214 N Carrollton Ave, New Orleans, LA 70119-5109

(504) 486-0078 | www.angelobrocatoicecream.com/


    I loved the stracciatella (Italian chocolate chip), it was creamy and flavorful, clearly homemade and fresh….but wish I’d looked more carefully before ordering!  As soon as I was handed my gelato, I noticed the display case beyond the register that had fresh spumoni, cassata (spumoni/cake combo, yum!) and baked Alaska too.  If I could have eaten more I would have tried them all!  They also make several varieties of authentic italian cookies, available in gift bags, and have a grand old school espresso machine–I love coffee with my ice cream, and American joints never have it.  Go indulge!